We Don't Care for the Empress

"We Don't Care for the Empress" is a song from the episode "The Two Musketeers".

Characters singing

Pablo: Have you heard about that lady, that fancy-pantsy lady, who thinks she's so much better than us all?

Tyrone: She's selfish and she's mean, like you'd expect from a queen. And though her ego's fat, her heart is small.

Pablo: I hear she's got an ugly head!

Tyrone: And there are bedbugs in her bed!

Pablo: And she's got pimples on her nose!

Tyrone: And yucky stuff between her toes!

Pablo: I bet she doesn't wash her hair!

Tyrone: And doesn't change her underwear!

Tyrone and Pablo: And that's the reason we don't care! We don't care, we don't care, we don't care for the Empress!

Tasha: Hmph! But you've never even met her and I'll bet it would upset her to hear those awful things you have to say.

Pablo: (speaking) Upset her?

Tyrone: (speaking) The empress?

Tyrone and Pablo: (speaking) Oh please...

Tasha: What if she's only lonely and wishes she could only have friends that she could play with everyday?

Pablo: (speaking) The empress?

Tyrone: (speaking) Lonely?

Tyrone and Pablo: (speaking) Nah...

Tyrone: I hear she doesn't like cartoons!

Pablo: I bet she's lousy with balloons!

Tyrone and Pablo: Her manners must be really bad!

Tasha: (speaking) If she could hear, she would be so sad!

Tyrone and Pablo: And that's okay 'cause we don't care! We don't care, we don't care, we don't care for the Empress!

Pablo: You know what really gets me? What bothers and upsets me? I'm so sick with envy, I think that I might cry.

Tyrone: It's that wonderful balloon, her magnificent balloon!

Tyrone and Pablo: How I wish that we could fly up to the sky!

Tasha: (speaking) That's why you don't like her? 'Cause she has a hot-air balloon and you don't?

Tyrone and Pablo: (speaking) Yeah.

That's why we don't care, we don't care, we don't care for the Empress!